3 Steps to Making New Year's Resolutions Stick
TRANSCRIPT EPISODE 096
Be honest, have you ever succeeded at a new years resolution? Like really succeeded. I have seen them fall apart day 1 - like Jan 1. Oops!
They really don’t work - its the same reason why diets don’t work and why bandaid medicine doesn’t work - because it addresses what you THINK you should be doing - and NOT the root cause or many times even the actual end goal.
I am most often contacted to help meet the new years resys that are related to diet, nutrition, and exercise and when we really dig into it - its not even weight loss that the person is after.
Before I get into the steps - Let’s get something straight before we go further – labels are not particularly important to me, so in that regard I use words like “higher self” and “Universe” and “God” interchangeably. If that doesn’t feel good to you, just sub your word in there when you feel appropriate.
Step 1 - Ask yourself Why:
Try this exercise with yourself - answer the question Why - Why do you want to (insert resolution here)? So it might be, why do you want to lose weight?
Answer with the first thing off the top of your head. Then ask yourself why again? Maybe you need to re-ask the exact question (you may have many roots to this issue) or maybe you need to take your first answer and ask why that? You will need to continue for a minimum of 5- Why’s but this could go on for as many why’s as you need.
One of my best examples I can give is the weight loss/fitness/whatever language you put around it is the same...many times at the end of the Why’s we land on what they REALLY want, to feel happy, to feel loved, to feel good...enough. None of which is actually weight-related.
Now I hear you, most of us hear this information initially and think it doesn' apply to them, maybe you are thinking, “But Audrey, I want to lose weight because I’m in pain…” And I get it, not everyone lands on one of the feels I mentioned, but if we dig deep enough I assure you the physical pain is not the ONLY or even the MAIN why.
How do I know? Because losing weight isn't the primary solution for pain relief. It's not even a good one in most cases.
That is WHY for each resolution, you need to do the “why” exercise and find out what you really want.
Step 2 - Make Peace.
No matter your resolution or even where it lands after step 1, but even if you skip step one and your resolutions are still in the range of health, wellness, fitness, size, finances, relationships - the very first step - is to make peace with where you are at right now.
You have to accept that there is no other way it could’ve happened or should’ve happened because you are here right now - this is exactly where you are supposed to be and that ultimately the Universe, God, Nature, whatever your label is for your higher power, is conspiring for your best good.
Think about how many times you had something happen to you that seemed like the WORST things ever - catastrophic event - and then turned out that it was the best thing for you?
Like losing a job landed you to be an entrepreneur or find a career that really suited your soul. I can think of a million times I thought something was the end of the world and I look back now, like THANK GOD.
Even with a scary diagnosis, looking back, turns out it was exactly the right thing.
Here are 2 quick shifts to make peace fast:
Just say or write this prayer to your Higher Power - “I recognize I am out of alignment with [this person, situation, event, occurrence]. I choose to release the outcome, and choose to feel good right now. Thank you, for guiding me."
Alternative wording might be: “I freely release what no longer inspires me around [this person, situation, event, occurrence] to make space for new guidance and inspiration.”
Making resolutions stick involves many pieces of our inner selves. For most us this is not our first resolution rodeo, meaning our resolutions come back to us year after year. Eventually, we get back into the cycle of NOT taking care of ourselves as old emotions get stirred back up.
Today's shift puts that to REST.
You can repeat this as many times as you like, each time you do it in a set of 5.
- Stand up. Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Do this a couple of times and audibly sigh it out. Gently close your eyes.
- See the very first time you had the negative thoughts that led you to this resolution. Maybe its about your human suit, that you felt less than, or that you didn't take care of your body in a way that led you to where you are or where you were when you started this journey. Really see the image in detail.
- Now, take your upper portion of your body, turn over your left shoulder and point backward and say "that was me then.” Then turn forward touch hands over your heart ‘this is me now.”
- Repeat this 5 times for each event.
If you have multiple events, like I did...continue to go through the events with the same exercise. Don't do too many at one time thought, it can cause an emotional, energetic, or even physical reaction. Emotional release shows up in lots of ways. Some of my clients laugh uncontrollably, a lot of them cry, some get tired. Emotional release can also shed toxins, so drink lots of water!
Now that you have why’d your resolutions into what you actually want - and made peace with 50% of those things, you may not even have anything left for a resolution - so that is pretty damn empowering, yeah?
If you still have more to focus on in the new year - the last step is to Vision Board it.
Step 3 - Vision board it.
Whether or not you’re a fan of that old bestselling book, The Secret, one thing is undeniably true: That which we focus on we attract more of.
If you spend all your time worrying about money, it seems to slip right through your fingers. And, likewise, if you daydream about relaxing in the Caribbean sun, well, you’re a lot more likely to find yourself on a beach chair in the near future.
Even though I am a firm believer in magic and miracles, vision boarding isn’t some airy- fairy make-believe, either. We’ve known for decades that daydreams have power, and that purposeful visualization is the key to greater success in every area of life.
Top athletes practice endlessly, not only on the field, but in their minds. My daughter is a 9-year-old gymnast and visualization is a big part of her training. Same for my 11-year-old
barrel racer. And not from me either – from their coaches and trainers and sports psychology and olympic professionals they work with.
You see top athletes visualize success, they actually see that perfect shot, winning race, or stunning backflip. They concentrate on the minute movements that make it possible, how their muscles will react every second, and how they will feel at the end of a stellar performance. This type of visualization creates new neural pathways that are virtually indistinguishable from those caused by completing the act itself.
The result? Nearly the same as with actual, physical practice.
One study compared muscle gains in bodybuilders who physically lifted to those who visualized their workouts – the muscle gain was identical.
The best part, it works the same way for you. When you visualize your ideal business, your happy home life, your dream vacation, your peaceful family life, and even your biggest income goals, reaching those resolutions (the new ones that you have edited with step 1 and 2 you’re primed to achieve them.
And you’ll meet those goals much faster and with fewer stumbles than if you simply list your goals (and deadlines) on a calendar.
Like anything though, effective visualization takes practice. As kids, we spend much of our time daydreaming and playacting, but those are skills we lose as we age because we spend time on what we feel a “grown up” goal sheet SHOULD look like. Frankly leaving that inner child screaming for attention,
A vision board can help kick start those creative visualization skills again. Right now you can grab my quick course on exactly how to make the best vision board for your resolutions - complete with some sweet bonuses right now by clicking here.
Thanks for listening to the Naturalistic Nurse Podcast, if you’d like to contribute to this podcasting effort of getting the work out about how shift your practice to ditch those bandaid fixes and switch to root cause resolutions that stick be sure and subscribe, rate and leave a review - I’d be oh- so grateful.