Everyone always talks about the benefits of getting fit, of losing weight, and really taking care of that human suit your Soul was gifted for its walk on Earth. Well today, we are going to talk about the rest of that stuff. The stuff that is a little or a lot embarrassing or unusual (at least to me) when you lose weight, and begin to shrink down past the lowest weights you remember. A montage of weight loss is mostly a blessing, a little “WTF?!”, a dash of “hmmm, well isn’t that interesting.” Here is some of what I have noticed:
- Clothes that are too big are as unflattering as clothes that are too small. Maybe even more so, at least when they are too small people MIGHT think you are trying to be sexy, but when they are too big? Its like “bag-lady chic.” Which leads us directly into the budget dilemma. Do I go out and buy new clothes every size I drop and every piece I give to charity… errrr no! Have you seen my financial posts? I am STINGY with my spending, especially on myself. But here’s the thing y’all…there are only so many spare ways to style something that is super baggy, and sometimes what is worse is that stuff that is just a little baggy…its like you are trying so hard to accentuate that new shape and all you have is a closet for of potato sacks.
- It’s dangerous to wear your wedding ring. Yep, it falls right off. I’ve almost lost mine twice, but since I am not done changing my shape, I don’t want to have it resized over-and-over. So, most of the time it stays tucked away in the jewelry drawer.
- Shaving is easier and harder at the same time. While it’s easier to shave my legs, certain areas, like around my knees are trickier. The used to be soft hills that a razor would glide across. Now they are bumpy with bony protrusions…that lead to many WTF?!? situations when I sit down in the sunlight, miles from my razor and notice I COMPLETELY missed areas of glistening blonde leg hairs sparkling in the sunshine.
- Necklaces that were once medium length are now long. Weird right? Who knew that happened? But it totally does! The diameter of everything shrinks, so now I have a ton of long chains.
- Boobs…what boobs? Yeah, so I spent most of my life thinking I had ginormous jugs. “It must be genetic?” I thought. NOPE, it apparently was not. As now on the downward slope to my over-all fitness goals… they are small. And thankfully, I thought I was doomed to a life of softballs in tube socks for the shapely-ness of my lady lumps….nah they are just fine now.
- Bras gone too! A pleasant side effect is not only a choice in bras but a choice not to wear one at all. Sa-weet right? Usually I wear a “bralette” unless the neckline of my top doesn’t permit it, and sometimes even when it doesn’t.
- Car seats, random chairs, and stadium seats are no longer a source of anxiety. Yeah, you get it right? I am going to be squished into this seat or that seat…it’s not fun, in fact it’s torture. Not anymore! I can sit wherever I want! And my car seat is now wider than me, even on the back of the seat so my arms rest against it, making it harder to reach behind me. I can sit in folding chairs, movie seats, auditorium chairs with ease!
- Workout pants / yoga pants / leggings CAN actually be too big. And when they are, your crotch looks like a well-endowed man.
- You get MORE stretch marks. Nah, just kidding. You don’t actually get more stretch marks, you can just see some from a new angle or see them for the first time as things shrink. Don’t worry, they will fade.
- Tying your shoes doesn’t wind you. I admit, especially when wearing jeans…bending over wasn’t fun and tying my shoes was a breath holding adventure. FOR REAL. Not any longer, I can breath fully and deeply while tying my shoes or the little’s shoes for that matter.
Sometimes we have to laugh at ourselves and reveal the less glamorous thoughts and funnies that go through our heads. What have you noticed?